Resting in uncertainty

April 16, 2020

When the illusion of control is shattered we find ourselves in a deeply uncomfortable space. A space of uncertainty, of not knowing. A grey area, a waiting room, that pause between one breath and the next. 

And here we are. Uncertain.

Perhaps you've felt this feeling before, or perhaps it's something brand new. Maybe you find this unsettling and uncomfortable, or maybe you're able to lean into and rest in uncertainty.

The reality is that at this moment there is a lot to be uncertain about. We're all having a uniquely personal experience while simultaneously connected through a worldwide collective one. Lives are being lost, jobs made redundant, businesses gone, while strict physical boundaries, rules and restrictions put in place have created an unsettling sense of isolation.

It is a time of uncertainty. 

I'm uncertain how business will look next week, next month, next year. I'm uncertain if it will rain this afternoon, this evening, or tomorrow. I'm uncertain of when I can float in the ocean again or hug a dear friend.

Yes, I'm uncertain.

Yet the truth is, we've never had certainty. It's only ever been an illusion and this crisis has served to illuminate that.

What we do have is a freedom of choice towards how we meet and respond to life as it presents itself in each and every moment, during a crisis and beyond. 

I've never felt more present than I have during the past few weeks. That's not to deny the discomfort or rollercoaster of emotions, but in doing the work of bringing my wandering mind back to the present moment, I've been aware of so much beauty in the now, even when 'now' may feel uncertain.

I've never seen so many vibrant rainbows, or the clarity of the stars just before dawn, and the most subtle of moon phases as she moves through the sky. The Kererū are back, in fact two are sitting in the branches of Kānuka as I write this. I can feel my breath, my pulse, my body. My meditations are deeper, dreams more vivid, and energetic connections intensified.

I still don't know anything, but am finding a place to rest in uncertainty.

If you feel called to explore a powerful tool for present moment awareness and an entry to the now, Graham Mead leads an online group meditation sitting twice a week (Tuesdays and Fridays) which I've used as an anchor point to my days and found beautifully supportive during this time.  

I've been working with Graham for several years now and he takes a very practical approach to self awareness and emotional processing through his work. While meditation is a personal practice, there is an intensified energy field created when a group comes together, that serves to deepen both our personal experience and positively contribute to that of the collective.

I'd love to sit with you and connect in this way from wherever you are in the world.

We're all in this together.

One Kererū is still perched right outside the window and it's started to rain. I'm still uncertain, but this present moment is serving up all kinds of wonderful.

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... and let me share the magic of plants with you x